


Callipygian

by GallifreyanChild



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: College AU, Dorks, Human AU, I promise, Lust's a bit of an asshole at first, M/M, This started due to a prompt, and by a bit I mean a lot, but it escalated, can be read as standalones, he'll get better tho, it almost borders on harassment tbh, mostly oneshots but with some form of continuity, roof shenanigans, stupid studying sessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-10-09 03:58:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10403433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanChild/pseuds/GallifreyanChild
Summary: Error's just a normal college student who wants to get by in life.Enter Lust, the slightly perverted, sex-obsessed social butterfly with his eye on a certain stuttering ball of anger.





	1. Elevator Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> Look up the definition of the title of this fic. I dare you.
> 
> I wanted one of those uncommon beautiful words for the title but I found that and I'm just like 'IT FITS THESE GUYS PERFECTLY THERE IT GOES'
> 
> these are going to be oneshots??? Im sorry I have so many unfinished things I'm going to work on them I swear
> 
> also human Error having a stutter is like my fave headcanon
> 
> also this is a reference for how I picture them: https://gallifreyan-pal.tumblr.com/post/157925615930/heres-human-errorlust-because-procrastination-was

Error would have had to be an idiot if he didn't notice the way Lust was trying to come onto him.

Blowing little kisses and giving winks whenever he could, sticking his tongue out in absolutely lewd gestures when they passed each other in the hallway - never mind the little notes he left in places he knew that Error was sure to find them. There were the times he'd throw little pebbles at his dorm window to try and gain his attention(he'd wear earplugs and continue doing whatever he was doing), try to invite him to events(he'd always decline, no matter if it was Lust that invited him or not, he just didn't do social), and one time he'd even made coffee for him in the morning for some reason(he'd dumped it out). That was besides all of the awful pickup lines and other means he used to flirt on a daily basis.

Of course, he tried not to pay those things any heed. The guy's name was Lust for a reason.

That didn't make it any less distracting, however. Currently, he was trying to make it through his anatomy class and actually get something out of it, instead of having his attention taken away by the purple-clad idiot sitting a few spots away from him. Seriously, was it just him, or did anyone else notice the guy's flirtatious antics, especially during class?

Error sighed, writing away furiously on a piece of lined paper to try and get down all the things his professor was saying. He flicked his eyes to look up at the displayed image of what they were supposed to be studying - but instead he caught a glimpse of Lust, two rows in front of him. The other smiled and gave a little wink.

Error returned his eyes to his paper, thoroughly annoyed and slightly flustered. He continued taking notes, the scritch-scratch of the pencil and the professor's words the only thing he was hearing.

Until, of course, there was the slightly-too-loud squeak of a chair and his eyes once more flicked upwards. Lust had scooted his chair back slightly and crossed one leg over the other. He ran both of his hands forwards over his thighs until they came to a rest on top of each other on his knees. He shot a glance backwards and winked again.

Damn it.

Error turned back to his paper, trying to keep the faint blush from being noticed by the other - which it always was, no matter how he tried to hide it. It was kind of odd how he managed to get flustered every time, but then, that was kind of the nature of how the two of them interacted. It truly was annoying. And it made him uncomfortable. Then again, he'd never get up the actual courage to tell the other to seriously fuck off and find some other person to flirt with, so he'd just brood in anger from afar.

Or, well, more like the next dorm room over. Room assignments weren't really in his favor.

After class, Error hurriedly gathered up his materials and backpack and hurriedly slung the dark bag over his shoulder. He maneuvered quickly past the desks and out the door, setting off at a brisk pace down the hall. It was the last class of the day, so all he had to do was get back to the dorm before Lust, and he'd be perfectly set for the rest of the day. 

Wait, no. Shit. He had laundry to do, the clothes he was wearing being his second-to-last clean pair of shorts and last clean shirt. Error mentally groaned, realizing he would have to go back to the dorm room, get his clothes, and take a trip to the laundry room before going back to the dorm, and then after a bit leave and go to pick up the clean laundry. Well, there went his plan for the day. Now a bit put off by that, Error sulked as he took the elevator down from the third-floor classrooms, arriving on the first floor and heading out the door.

Wait.

...

His notes were still in the classroom.

Error growled and glanced up at the sky, glazed over with puffs of cumulonimbus clouds - dark and grey. Looked like it was going to rain. He cursed whatever beings were up there, because hell, he was annoyed. 

Turning around, Error started muttering to himself(because hey, if he was having a shitty day, he was well within his rights to complain about it) and walked inside the building, taking the elevator up to the third floor once more.

There were hardly any students left, which eased the pressure on Error's part ever so slightly. People weren't his forte, and crowds got him antsy if he was in one for too long. He walked down the hall at a slightly more relaxed pace, quickly arriving at the classroom of his anatomy professor. Opening the door, he stepped in the room - he just had to make this quick, no need to to take longer than he had to.

"-and I just need a bit of study help, honestly, I mean I have been studying, but it'd be good to have someone to study with. You know me, professor, I'm not a very solitary person. Anyways, I think it'd help me retain information if I just had a study buddy or something."

"Well, there are a few good students I could recommend, but-" the professor cut off his statement as he noticed Error walk in. "Oh, hello there, Error. Did you need anything?"

Error blinked as he glanced over at the professor and the person with him - Lust. Just his luck. He weakly stammered, "Uh, no, I j-j-just, uh, left my n-notes. Kinda n-need those," he mumbled, then maneuvered around the desks to get to his own, where his notes were sitting. 

"Actually, Error, could I talk to you for a moment?"

Error internally screamed. However, he tried to put on an at least somewhat-pleasant expression(he didn't hate the professor that much). "Uh, s-sure," he said, grabbing his notes off of the desk and holding them close to his chest before turning around and trying not to let his expression turn to a grimace. 

"I'm sure you've already met Lust," the professor said, gesturing to the person standing beside him. Lust gave a little wave, and Error nearly groaned in frustration then and there - the guy wasn't even acting like he knew him! 

"Uh, yeah," Error amended, clutching his notes slightly tighter. 

"Well, he's been looking for some study help for a while. You have good grades in the class, and I was wondering if you'd agree to study with him for a bit.”

Error floundered for a moment.  _ No,  _ he wanted to say,  _ absolutely not.  _ But that wasn’t what he ended up saying. Instead, the words that tumbled out of his mouth were “Uh, sure, I g-guess.”

“Great,” the professor replied, clasping their hands together. “Let me know if there’s any trouble, all right?”

“Will do,” Lust replied, and the professor left the room.

“Okay, wh-what kind of s-sick game are you playing?!?” Error said, turning to Lust and snapping at him immediately after the professor left the room. Dammit, his stupid stutter really wasn’t helping right now.

Lust raised both hands in defense, “Hey, that was totally an accident. It’s not like I knew the professor was going to ask  _ you _ to be my study partner,” he told Error.

Error growled and rolled his eyes. “ _ Whatever. _ Let’s just g-get the hell out of here so maybe I can actually get s-some real studying d-done, no thanks to y-you,” he grumbled, turning and stalking out of the room.

“Hey, believe it or not, I actually make a pretty great study partner, if I do say so myself,” Lust replied indignantly, following Error out of the room and down the hall.

“Oh y-yeah?” Error asked. “C-can you tell me wh-what the supraorbital arch is?”

“Uh…”

“Y-yeah, that’s what I th-thought,” Error grumbled, turning a corner.

“What do you have against me?” Lust asked, frowning.

“You can’t see it?” Error scoffed. He arrived at the elevator doors, pressing the down button. 

The doors swung open as Lust approached him. “That’s not a reason, so you don’t have any excuse to hate me,” he said as they got in the elevator.

Error immediately slumped against the wall, as far away from Lust as he could be. “I’ve got p-plenty,” he grumbled as the elevator doors closed.

“Oh really?”Lust said, leaning back against the other wall as they started descending. “Like what?”

“Like-” Error started, but was cut off when a jolt shook the elevator and the lights flickered. Error let out a yelp and tripped onto the floor, while Lust managed to grip the railing and hold on tight enough to stay upright.

“What the hell?” Lust said as Error stood up.

“Thunderstorm, p-probably,” Error said, adjusting his glasses. “It was super c-cloudy just now.”

“Wait,” Lust said, freezing. “The elevator’s stopped.”

Error’s eyes widened. “You’ve got to b-be kidding me,” he said, expression contorting into a scowl.

Lust sighed. “We’re stuck.”

Error let out a groan of frustration, slumping to the floor. “And I h-had to do laundry t-today,” he grumbled.

Lust snorted. “Laundry? That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Yes,” Error snapped. “I already know the c-class material anyways, so clean c-clothing takes priority. This is my l-last clean shirt,” he said.

Lust clicked his tongue as he slumped to the floor as well. “Ah. Pity.”

Error rolled his eyes.

“Well, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna start moving anytime soon,” Lust said, sighing.

“Yeah, and…?” Error replied.

“I mean - we’re stuck in an elevator for an undefined amount of time. Together.”

Error’s eyes widened as he realized what the other was implying. “What the hell? N-no way!”

Lust rolled his eyes. “Don’t see why not. Not like anybody could see.”

“It’s ‘c-cause you’re a disgusting p-pervert, that’s why,” Error growled.

“Aw, come on. I see how flustered you get in class,” Lust teased, scooting closer.

Error inhaled sharply. “I s-said I’m n-not interested. G-get the f-fuck away f-from me.”

“You’re stuttering more,” Lust noted. He got closer.

“It’s a s-speech imp-p-pediment that g-grows when I’m n-nervous or ext-t-tremely unc-c-comfortable!” Error said, voice cracking slightly.

Lust pouted. “I’ve heard from a viable source that you’re not on the ace spectrum and you are, in fact, into guys,” he said.

“Wh-who the f-fuck told you th-that?”

“Your roommate. Blue.” Error was about to ask him how the hell he got Blue to divulge that bit of information, but Lust continued, “So, I mean - I know from experience that it’s a  _ bangin’  _ way to pass the time,” he said chuckling. 

Error didn’t know what the other planned to do - cup his chin, give it a flick, attempt another mode of seduction, but as soon as the other reached out towards him, Error yelped and flung himself away from the other.

“ _ I said, stay the fuck away! _ ” he nearly screeched, lashing out and hitting the other’s hand away.

Lust flinched in surprise, letting out a small ‘ouch’ when his hand was hit. “Whoa, dude, I was just-”

“You were b-being a fucking j-jerk, now st-t-tay on your half of th-the elevator!” Error yelled, heart beating faster and breathing speeding up, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.

“Calm down, jeez, what’s your problem?” Lust said, recoiling slightly.

“I have  _ haphephobia,  _ you insensitive p-p-prick,” Error hissed, curling in on himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to control his heavy breathing and rapidly beating heart. Every thump was incredibly painful; there was so much pain, in fact, that it felt like it was going to burst out of his chest at any moment. His throat tightened, he could barely breathe, which definitely did not help with the rapid pace of his inhalation.

Thankfully, Lust had the decency to shut up and scoot back to the other side of the elevator. After several moments, he spoke. “Hey, dude, I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“No, y-you’re  _ not, _ ” Error said through his teeth. “If you were, if you f-felt any  _ shred  _ of guilt or r-remorse, you’d have s-stopped when I said  _ no. _ ” He exhaled shakily. “Even with s-someone who’s completely m-mentally healthy. You respect their d-d-damn boundaries, got it?”

Lust nodded vigorously.

Error spent the next few minutes trying to calm himself. It wouldn’t do him any good to have a panic attack in the elevator. He especially didn’t want to break down right in front of  _ Lust.  _ After a bit, his breathing even and his heart rate lowered back into a range that would be considered safe. He curled up a bit tighter.

“...Philophobia,” Lust said quietly after a moment.

Error snapped his head upwards. “What?”

“Fear of romantic relationships,” Lust continued. “I use casual sex as an outlet and… I’ve become rude and disrespectful because of it. I don’t really have any excuse for pushing your boundaries as far as I just did, but… I hope you can still accept my apology. I’m… I’m really sorry.”

Error eyed him for a moment, unsure of how to respond. He settled for slowly nodding. “You d-do it again, and I’ll…” he faltered for a moment.

Lust snorted. “What?”

“String you up f-from one of the hoops on the basketball c-courts,” Error finished lamely.

“Really? That’s the best threat you can come up with?”

“I can tie fifty d-different knots that will leave you choking to d-death. And I’ll use r-rope that’ll chafe and burn severely. Don’t f-fuck with me.”

Lust held his hands up, chuckling. “Okay. Okay. I promise. I promise. No means no, I get it.”

Error nodded. Despite himself, he let a small smile peek through.

“Hey, um…” Lust said. “You have your notes, right?”

“Uh, yep. R-right here.” He held up the papers.

“Can I borrow them while we’re stuck here? I really need to study. I’m kind of failing the class.”

Error snorted. He tossed the papers at Lust. “Knock yourself out.”

When somebody finally managed to get the elevators working again, they had already scheduled study sessions together for the next week.


	2. Roof Dialogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error's stuck on the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meh I wrote this today cause I was frustrated with my other prompts for this
> 
> seriously I have like 10 prompts that are half-finished
> 
> anyways take this blurb

"What the hell are you doing up there?"

"Enjoying the g-goddamned sunshine, wh-what does it look like?"

"It looks like you're stuck,"

" _P-please,_ I'm not stuck."

"You're stuck."

"Am n-not."

"Yep. You're stuck on the roof."

"I s-said I'm not s-stuck!"

"Okay, then, come on down here. It's time to study anyways."

"..."

"Ha. You're stuck."

"Shut the f-fuck up."

"How the hell did you get stuck anyways?"

"Blue had his b-boyfriend over and I w-wanted peace and q-quiet. So I went up t-to the roof. Now I'm s-stuck."

"Alright, hang on."

"Wait, w-what are you doing?"

"I'm coming up there with you! We'll study anatomy on the roof!"

"Why the hell-"

"Becaaaause, I need to study! I can't afford to miss a session, and  _you're_ stuck, so I'm coming up there with you."

"Good grief."

"Whoa, the view's nice from up here."

"It's literally j-just the dorms."

"I wasn't talking about the dorms."

"...Fuck you."

"Maybe, if I like you enough."

"Shut up and g-get out your notes."

"..."

"What?"

"...I left my notes on the ground."

"Well, go and g-get them!"

"I can't! I'm stuck up here!"

"Are you fucking k-kidding me right n-now?"

"Hey, who got stuck on the roof in the first place? That's right,  _you._ "

"You didn't have to f-follow me up here!"

"Still, how are we going to get down?"

"..."

 

_**"BLUE!"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue is Error's roommate. (Blue's boyfriend is to be determined.)


	3. Kitten Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue finds a stray kitten. Their dorm is strictly no-pets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, finally. Haven't updated this in forever. Enjoy, guys :P

Error took a deep breath in, reaching up and pinching the bridge of his nose. “B-Blue. You can't k-keep that here.”

Blue pouted, his lower lip quivering. “But where am I going to put him?”

“ _ Him?!? _ ” 

“Of course! He's a very manly little kitty. His name is Tiger.” Blue hefted up the tiny orange tabby to eye level. “Isn't that right? Who's a good kitty?  _ Who's a good kitty _ ?” 

The cat gave a pitiful mew. 

Error sighed. “Blue. W-we can’t k-keep any pets in the d-dorm.”

“Aw, please?”

“No! I d-don’t want to get k-kicked out!” Error insisted.

Blue hugged the kitten closer. “But where will he go?”

“I don’t know, the a-animal shelter?”

“But what if nobody adopts him? What if he’s stuck there alone with no love in his life forever?”

“Blue, I’m s-sure the people at the shelter will t-take good c-care of him.”

“But  _ what if?!? _ ”

“B-Blue, it’s a friggin cat.”

Blue gasped in offense, eyebrows furrowing and nose wrinkling. “Error,  _ how could you?!? _ ”

Error opened his mouth to deliver another annoyed response, but was cut off by a knock at the door. He snapped his head towards the sound and closed his mouth, then turned back to glare at Blue. “T-take the friggin’ c-cat and put it in the r-room,” he said through gritted teeth, “and  _ d-don’t  _ let anyone else s-see it.”

Blue huffed but reluctantly nodded, turning and walking away with the cat.

Error grumbled, walking to the door and opening it a bit. “Who-? Oh.”

A familiar shock of white hair accompanied by a pair of near-violet eyes clued Error in as to who stood at the door. The man raised a hand and gave a small wave, smiling sheepishly. “Heya.”

“L-Lust?” Error asked. “What the hell are y-you doing here? We’re on b-break.” Lust opened his mouth to reply, but Error continued, cutting him off, “a-and  _ don’t  _ tell me you w-want to start reading f-for next semester a-already.”

“What? No,” Lust said, visibly disgusted by the idea. “I, uh. I got locked out of my room.”

“C-can’t you get your r-roommate to unlock it f-for you?” Error asked. “W-wait. Isn’t your roommate that asshole, w-what’s his name - R-Red?”

Lust sighed. “Yes, but he’s away visiting his bitchy younger brother. He won’t be back for another couple of days.”

“...No.”

“No what?”

“No, y-you’re not staying with us,” Error said. “N-no way in hell.”

“C’mon, please? Look, I’ve got no other options, believe me, I’ve tried to-”

“Error? Who’s that at the door?”

Error swung his head to the right, seeing Blue hurry back down the small hallway, cat still in his arms. “B-Blue, what the h-hell are you d-doing?” Error hissed. “G-get the c-cat away from h-here!”

Despite Error’s protests, Blue grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open with his free hand, cat tucked under his other arm. “Oh! Lust, how nice to see you!”

Lust waved again. “I didn’t know you guys had a cat.”

“We d-don’t,” Error insisted, glaring at Blue. “We’re t-taking it to the sh-shelter.”

“Error, no!” Blue said. “We’re either keeping him or finding a  _ good _ home for him.”

Lust chuckled. “Well, don’t let anybody else see it. I won’t tell, but there  _ is  _ a strict no-pet policy, so. Don’t want you guys to get kicked out. I mean, then who would I tease mercilessly about being a prude?”

“Th-that’s not-!”

Lust chuckled, “I know, I know. Just teasing.” He grinned. “But really, I won’t say anything about the cat.”

There was a moment of silence. “Do you want to hold him?” Blue then offered to Lust, holding out the kitten. “His name’s Tiger!”

Error sighed, rolling his eyes, “B-Blue, no-”

“Sure!”

Error glared at Lust, who took the orange kitten into his arms. 

“Aww, he likes you,” Blue observed, as the cat had started purring excessively.

“He’s an adorable little thing,” Lust commented, holding the tabby close to his chest and scratching him behind his ears. “Error, you should hold him,” Lust suggested.

“Wh-what?! No,” Error said, backing away. “I’m not good with pets.”

“Aw, come on,” Lust teased, grinning. “Who can say no to this cute little face?” He held up the kitten.

Damn it. It  _ was  _ cute. 

Error begrudgingly took the cat from Lust. It gave a tiny mewl as it was moved, but then looked up at Error with a pair of big green eyes. Error held his breath. The cat gave another tiny mewl, then blinked and settled down into Error’s arms, eyes falling shut.

“Aww,” Blue said. “See, he likes you too.”

“N-no, he’s probably j-just tired,” Error huffed, then handed the cat back to Blue. “He needs to sleep. P-put him on your bed or something. Then g-go get food and litter and stuff, c-cause if he’s staying, he’s your r-responsibility. And you’re p-paying for his shit, I g-got enough to deal with.”

Blue’s expression brightened as Error spoke, then nodded hastily. “Yes! Okay! Will do!” He gave a little squeal of excitement, “Thank you!”

Lust shot a knowing glance and a smirk at Error as Blue ran down the hall. “You’re secretly a softie,” He said, grinning.

Error sputtered. “I-I am n-not!”

“Are too.”

“Am n-not!” Now sh-shut it, or I’m n-not letting you s-stay and you’ll have to f-find someplace else while y-you’re locked out of your d-dorm,” Error huffed.

Lust’s grin widened.

“You make a single c-comment and you’re  _ gone. _ ”

“Duly noted.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment please! :D
> 
> Want to come chill with me on tumblr? Mine's gallifreyan-pal.tumblr.com


End file.
